I write these words while in attendance at the Wexner Graduate Fellowship Alumni Institute held this year in Sanibel Harbor, Ft Myers, FL. This gathering brings together over 160 fellowship alumni and Jewish professionals of all kinds for learning and interaction around the topic of leadership in our varied Jewish communities. Covid brought our gathering to a halt. Three years since we last gathered in person, this year’s focus was simple; ‘Reconnect. Refresh. Reignite. Reunite.’ Let’s just gather, dwell for a few moments in one another’s presence, share our stories and our grief at what we missed and start to build a new future.
During one learning session, we focused on the words of Psalm 126, Shir HaMa’alot, Song of Ascents. “Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy…” “HaZor’im b’Dim’ah B’Rena Yiktzoru”. The poetry of that psalm resonates deeply within me. I understand it that feelings of grief and loss can co-exist with feelings of joy. Even in sorrow, we can experience joy. Even as we weep for what was, we can dream about tomorrow.
We all have genes. Genes carry the information that determines what traits we inherit from our parents. I get my blue eyes, my bone structure, and my hair color from my genes.
Some genes carry mutations, which may or may not be harmful over time. Jewish men and women of Ashkenazi descent have a much higher incidence of carrying a genetic mutation in the BRCA gene, causing greater susceptibility to cancers, including breast and ovarian. This past July, I tested positive for the BRCA 2 genetic mutation.
Thanks to a supportive family, encouraging friends, good health care and advanced medical science, I had choices. I chose to be proactive with my health, even though that would mean surgery to remove both breasts (a bilateral prophylactic mastectomy – ‘BPM’), ovaries and fallopian tubes (called a bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy – ‘BSO’) – the very organs of my body that brought forth life for my four children and gave them sustenance in their most formative years. If you missed seeing me over the High Holidays this past year, I was undergoing that surgery.
When I researched the odds, my choice wasn’t hard to make. I’m over 60, my child-bearing years behind me, and didn’t want to carry the fear every day, waiting to know if I was one of the (up to) 75%* of women with BRCA 2 likely to get breast cancer in her lifetime, or the (up to) 50%* of women likely to get ovarian cancer. I didn’t want to worry that every mammogram or MRI would reveal a hidden cancer. I joined a Facebook group of other (mostly) women with BRCA 1 and 2 mutations, which grew to be over 17,000. I felt lucky to be able to make a prophylactic choice. Others in the group faced much harsher diagnoses. I struggled with what type of surgery and what kind of reconstruction, if any, I wanted. I kept checking and rechecking that page, looking for confirmation that I had made the best decision for me.
Each person’s choice is unique to that person. I did research and genetic testing. (If you were tested for BRCA before 2018, the test has since been refined and you should test again.) I let others help. Our community stepped up with meals and cards and good wishes throughout my surgeries and recovery, each touch aiding in my recovery. I am 8 weeks out from my second surgery and healing well.
My conference is in Ft. Myers, specifically Sanibel Harbour - which was the epicenter of a devasting hurricane just a few months ago. The aftereffects can be seen everywhere, including the visual of building cranes, fallen trees and twisted limbs to the soundtrack of hammers, chainsaws and heavy earth-moving machinery. We packed hygiene kits for residents struggling to get back on their feet. It is a community still reeling and determined to rebuild.
That is what we do as Jews and as people – we rebuild. We plant even as we weep. We rejoice even as we reap. As we all reconnect, reignite, refresh and reunite following these last few strange and lonely years, I know that along with a mutated gene, I will also be carrying hope and joy into what comes next.
Shabbat Shalom!
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*Basser Center for BRCA at Penn Medicine
